Trying to work out how to know when it is time to let go?
Not everything is meant to last for our entire lifetime and one of the greatest lessons we can learn in life is when to let go.
There are many things in life we may need to let go of: a relationship, a job, a friend, a business, an idea, a grudge or a whole number of other things.
Knowing when it is time to cut the cord and move on will help you to live a more fulfilling life. Remember as you let go of something you create space for something else.
Here are some signs that it is time to let go.
You have tried multiple times to improve the situation but nothing has worked
Life won’t always be easy and joyful. There will be hard times that will challenge you. There is nothing wrong with realising that something (a job, business, relationship, friendship etc) isn’t bringing you the joy you imagined it would or that it used to give you. In that moment you have the option to either let go or decide to try and see if the situation can be changed for the better.
However, if you have tried a number of times to improve the situation and nothing has worked then it is time to be honest with yourself. If you have tried, to the best of your effort, multiple times to change the situation and you are still unhappy then it is time to let go and move on.
It is consuming more time, energy or effort than you can justify
How much time are you spending thinking about whether you should let go or not? How much is it mentally weighing you down? Too often we don’t value ourselves enough. You only have a limited amount of time and energy. Therefore, as much as possible, you should be focusing on using them in areas that make your happy, fulfil your needs, allow you to grow etc. If the thing you are considering letting go of is constantly on your mind the point that it is impacting other areas of your life then you definitely should consider letting it go.
You feel as if you can’t be your true, authentic self
Life is too short to be in a situation where you have to pretend to be someone else or feel as if you have to hide part of yourself. Whilst you may be able to live this way for a while it will take eventually take its toll. Now it might be that you can be your true, authentic self and you just feel as if you can’t. So, first of all, you should try to bring your whole self. However, if after doing this you feel as if you can’t really be your true, authentic self then it is time to let go.
You’ve been thinking about letting go numerous times
We’ve all had moments where it can all become too much and you say to yourself “That’s it! I’ve had enough. It is time for me to end my relationship / leave my job/ stop talking to this friend”. But then the next day you carry on with your life as normal.
However, if you find yourself telling yourself the same thing over and over again then it is time to listen to yourself!
You complain about the situation all the time
Take a moment and think about how often you are complaining about the situation. We’ve already spoken about the mental space that can be taken up, but is it also consuming your conversations. Are you constantly complaining to your friends, family, partner, boss, dog etc? Complaining isn’t going to change the situation and in the meantime, you may be pushing people away from you because of your negative attitude. Think very carefully about how much you are complaining and work out if it is too much.
You justify holding on to others and feel like a fake as you say the words
You know exactly what I’m on about. You complained about something and then your friend responded saying “You are always complaining about X. Why don’t you just leave”. You automatically get defensive and start to justify why you shouldn’t leave, quit or let go. You are trying your hardest to prove to your why you should stay but deep down you know you are making excuses and that really it is time to move on.
You feel as if you are always the one having to compromise or make sacrifices
Every time we say yes to something we are saying no to something else. It may be that the sacrifices are obvious. You can see that you are spending time doing X when if you let go you’d be able to spend it doing Y instead. Even if you can’t see the alternative yet, trust me, every time you say yes to something you are saying no to something else.
Think about how your life would be without having to make those compromises and sacrifices. Now be careful not to end up in a ‘the grass is always greener on the other side’ fantasy, but try and weigh up if the current compromises and sacrifices are too much.
There you have it! You now have 7 ways to help yourself answer the question “How to know when it is time to let go”.
Letting go is not easy, but sometimes it is necessary. Hopefully, this will help you to know whether it is the time to let go.
In the comments, I would love to know which tip has resonated with you most.
