Feel like a failure? Disappointed at not achieving your goals? Struggling to move forward or imagine your life being better? Then check out this post as I will be sharing what to so when you feel like a failure.
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A few weeks ago I turned 30 and I definitely wasn’t happy about. The fact is I have been setting goals since my teens and as a result, there was a number of goals I had set for 30 – to be married, to own a house, to be head of a department – that I hadn’t achieved.
So a time that was meant to be a celebration, in fact, made me feel like a failure. Now the fact is that I knew a year or two ago that I wasn’t on track to achieve those goals and whilst I know it is fine to not have achieved those goals I can’t help but deep down inside to still feel like a failure.
As a result, I wanted to create a post to help others who are feeling in a similar position. So if you are struggling with feeling like a failure then check out these 5 tips.
1) Identify whether the goal was really in your control
One of the things I have definitely learned over the last few years is to set goals that are more in my control. When you set goals that are reliant on others it becomes more difficult to ensure that you achieve them. Going back to my three goals there is only one that was truly in my control, which was owning a house. Becoming a head of department and being married rely on other people and as a result, I have less control over being able to make them happen. If you have set goals that aren’t in your control then be kind to yourself. Realise whilst you play a role there are also limitations and therefore your failure might not be a result of the effort you have put in.
2) Think of all the things you have achieved
I don’t know about you but I could focus on the negatives forever but we both know that isn’t going to help. So if you feel like a failure take a moment to write down everything you have achieved. It is easy once you have achieved something to forget about that achievement as you move onto the next goal. You stop writing the goal down or you remove it from your vision board and it is like it never existed, but you need to remember those achievements. Spend some time writing down all of the goals you have set yourself in the past that you achieved. Then look back at that list and acknowledge that you have done amazingly. Just because you have been unsuccessful in some form doesn’t mean you are a complete failure.
3) Remember that having failed at something doesn’t label you as a failure
Recently I read Mindset by Carol Dweck and she wrote about how failure is an action, but for those with a fixed mindset, failure becomes an identity. Just because you have failed doesn’t mean you are a failure. EVERYONE FAILS! In fact, the most successful people in the world fail all the time. There is a business term “Fail fast” where the emphasis is on taking risks and failing quickly because with every failing you learn and get closer to your success.
Failing is not the be all and end all. It is a normal part of life so keep it in perspective. You can be a SUCCESS even if you are failing every day.
4) Use this feeling to inspire your comeback
If you are ambitious it is likely that failing will hit you hard and whilst the last 3 tips will help you logically to get over feeling like a failure, on an emotional level it may take longer. I love the quote ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ and there is definitely something about feeling at rock bottom to help you rise and soar. So use this moment as a wake-up call!
At this moment you feel like a failure, but what are you going to do so this time last year you look back and can’t believe the transformation. Channel that disappointment into something useful and motivational!
5) Remember that you are not alone
In today’s culture, there is so much pressure to appear successful, beautiful and perfect. It can mean when you feel like a failure that it makes you feel even worse, because you feel like the only failure in a world full of successful people. Remember that you are not the only person to have ever failed. Everyone has failed, but most people don’t mention their failures until they are successful. As I said this post was inspired by me feeling like a failure myself and I hope that knowing that at least there is one other person out there feeling similar is helpful.
That’s it! Those are my 5 tips to help you when you are feeling like a failure.
